During a conversation with a youth soccer coach, he said something that stayed with me. My philosophy has been rooted in that statement when leading youth sports, the definition of winning. I have been involved in athletics for over 30 years as a participant, coach, fan, and administrator. Despite being crushed by defeat and enjoying the sweet taste of victory, when I take a moment to reflect, what does it all mean, particularly for children under the age of 10?
Youth athletes are often put under high expectations, pushed to be the best, train when nobody is looking, and win. The soccer coach, however, got me thinking, what makes an 8-year-old a winner? Do they measure victory by the final score, their record, or their seeding in a tournament? No, and they shouldn’t.
According to him, 8-year-old wins are the kids who were shy at first but now have made friends, the kids who don’t kick the ball very well but now they can kick it all over the place, and the kids who used to have trouble following directions, but now they’re the ones who take the lead, and the part I loved the most, the parents who cheer for growth instead of victories.
Eventually, kids will have to deal with the pressures of society and the meaning of winning and losing. In these formative years, they should be enjoying their journey. They should laugh more, ask questions, make mistakes, make friends, and be allowed to grow. You’re unlikely to get an NBA contract if you’re good at basketball at 8. So there is no need for all the added pressure.
Playing the opposition to myself, indeed, everyone enjoys winning. I coached an 8-year-old basketball team, and they were delighted when they won. Interestingly enough, I couldn’t tell whether the 8-year-olds had won or lost because the ups and downs lasted the same amount of time, and suddenly they were just 8-year-old friends hanging out.
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